Personal lives of the Street Fighters
by StephenThePlaystationDude
Summary: Let's think about something, the Street Fighters can't fight constantly all the time,so what do they do for their daily lives? Find out in this little comedy! Featuring some strong language.
1. Chapter 1

**The Street Fighters personal lives.**

**Has anybody ever wondered what the Street Fighters do when they aren't kicking ass?**

**No matter how much of a hardass you are and whatever it's for good or evil. You can't fight people all the time 24/7. So I present to you, the everyday lives of the street fighters!**

**Let's start with Ryu, Ken and Blanka!**

Ryu sat in his home during a power outage reading a book. Suddenly his mobile phone rang, he answered it.

"Hello?" Ryu spoke. It was Ken.

"Hey, Ryu you wanna come over and watch some movies?"

"Dude, there's a power outage, you can't watch movies.

"Oh yes I can! I have Blanka round."

Blanka sat next to Ken's television with the plug shoved up his butt. He was using his electric attack to power up Ken's television.

"How long do I have to keep doing this?" Blanka asked in a whimpering voice.

Ken lowered his phone. "Not much longer, this movie ends in 20 minutes!" Ken smiled.

"Was it really worth doing this for 10 bucks?" Blanka sighed.

Ken went back to Ryu "C'mon my place is well heated. In fact hang on for a minute."

Ken walked over to his fireplace. "HADOUKEN!"he shouted and shot a fireball into the firewood. He then picked up the phone again. "What do you say?"

"Well…..O.K!" he replied smiling.

**And now let's go to Dhalism!**

Dhalsim stood at the bus stop. He was dressed in a shirt, tie and black trousers, ready for his day at work. Weird image to think of eh?

"Ahhh…." He smiled thinking to himself "While I do miss India, taking this job in America was well worth it."

An ordinary man stood next to him, he was trying to light a cigarette but he was having problems with his lighter. "Stupid thing." He muttered. He then turned to Dhalism "Hey you got a light? Can you help me out?"

"Certainly." Dhalsim replied. "Yoga Flame!" he shouted breathing fire into the man's face.

The man's face turned black and burnt like in a cartoon. His cigarette was lit. "Errrrr….thanks."

"You're welcome." Replied Dhalsim. His bus arrived and he got on it.

When he arrived at his office, he greeted his receptionist. The receptionist was a woman named Linda. She smiled at seeing him.

"Ahhhh! Mr Dhalsim! Glad you could make it! I wish I could talk, but I'm really busy. I gotta get this report to the boss by noon. Stupid Nick didn't show up this morning so the boss is giving me his work. Hey, I hate to be a pain, but please could you get me my coffee mug from that table over there?"

"Sure." Replied Dhalsim and stretched his arms over to the table. He then picked up the mug and handed it to Linda.

Linda's smile dropped. "I wish you'd walk like everybody else."

"Hey" Dhalsim smiled "You should see me at home when I'm watching T.V, when I want something from the fridge. I rarely leave the couch!"

Linda just closed her eyes and turned back to her computer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Meanwhile Chun-Li was meeting with an ordinary woman called Laura. Laura had agreed to buy her lunch. Laura was a short blonde woman who wore glasses and worked as an accountant, she had not always got along with other girls due to her nerdy style. Mind you, she was about to find out she was nothing compared to Chun-Li.

"Thanks for agreeing to buy me lunch." Chun-Li smiled.

"Hey, anything for a friend. I owe you helping me get my apartment clean for my mother last week." Laura smiled back.

"Don't worry, I don't cost much to feed, gotta keep fit, my legs are this muscular for a reason!"

Laura was at a loss for words. "Er….you don't say."

Chun-Li put her arm around Laura. "Hey, thanks for hanging out, I'm glad to hang out with someone who's not a Street Fighter. My room-mate Cammy is such a bitch! I forgot how great Normal can be!"

"What's wrong with Cammy?"

Chun-Li thought back to last week.

"Hey you owe me half for this phone bill." Chun-Li said to Cammy.

"What! No way! You were on the phone at least 75% percent of the time, calling all those naughty chat lines."

"Would you care to step outside." Chun-Li threatened.

"You bet!" Cammy snarled.

Chun-Li and Cammy went outside their home. Cammy spoke "Let's make a deal. If you win, I'll pay all the phone bills from now on along with any medical bills from your injuries, but if you lose, you do it!"

"Best deal I ever had." Smiled Chun-Li. "One round do?"

"Good enough for me." Replied Cammy

Cammy and Chun-Li's elderly next door neighbours stood watching them through a window. Their names are Howard and Mary.

"They're fighting again." Smiled Howard. "I'll get the binoculars."

"Oh good grief." Frowned Mary. "Do they have to have stupid fights everytime they can't agree on something? Who ate the last slice of pizza. A fight breaks out. Are you seeing my boyfriend? A fight breaks out, the time they couldn't agree on what to watch on television, a fight breaks out.

"Your turn to dial for the ambulance." Howard replied.

A random announcer voice came out of nowhere. "ROUND 1! FIGHT!"

"Cannon drill!" shouted Cammy performing her special move on Chun-Li.

"Ow!" screamed Chun-Li! "KIKOKEN!" shooting one of her fireballs at Cammy. Chun-LI then performed her special kick attack, called the "Hyakuretsukyaku" (Huh?) In simple words "the lightening kick." the one from tapping the kick button quickly.

"Thrust kick!" Cammy shouted then performing that very special move on Chun-li.

"KIKOKEN!" Chun-Li then shot another fireball. She then performed the spinning bicycle kick on her finishing Cammy off.

Cammy gave a loud scream that seemed to echo. "AHHHHH! AHHHHHH!" it shouted like.

"You lose!" said an announcer voice.

"So de we have a deal?" Chun-Li grinned.

"You bet." Said an injured Cammy.

"No doubt the neighbours have called for an ambulance. Can I get you anything while you wait? A drink maybe? A pillow?"

"Nah….I'm good" replied Cammy spitting out one of her teeth.

Back to present.

"Oh, she has her ways" Chun-Li said to Laura.

Laura and Chun-Li walked down three sets of stairs from where Laura's apartment was.

They were outside when Laura just remembered something.

"Ah, shoot!" she went.

"What's wrong?" went Chun-Li

"I left my car keys back at my apartment!"

"Maybe I can help." Replied Chun-Li . She pointed up at the flat. "Is it that third floor with the window open?"

"Yes."

"Where did you leave them?"

"Next to the kitchen sink."

"Perfect." Smiled Chun-Li "Spinning bicycle kick!"

Like a helicopter, Chun-Li lifted off the ground and up to her flat window. She then grabbed the keys in the kitchen, and flew back down using the same move.

Laura was gobsmacked "Well…there's something you don't see everyday."

Laura and Chun-Li sat in the café slipping some cups of coffee.

"Can I ask you something?" Laura asked.

"Certainly" replied Chun-Li.

"When did you first discover your powers?" asked Laura.

"Well while most street fighters I know, discover their powers at a late teenage year. I was different, I discovered mine at a very early age."

We then cut back to China, many years ago. A six year old Chun-Li is playing with crayons. Now as this is taking place in China, just imagine Chun-Li is speaking Chinese here with English subtitles. The same goes for other characters.

"Ahhh….." smiled Chun-Li "I love drawing rainbows." She said in chinese.

"Gimme those crayons." Said a young bullying girl called Lian.

"KIKOKEN!" shouted Chun-Li, and gave Lian a fireball to the chest.

It was a good thing, Chun-Li was only a young girl, or the fireball might have killed her. Nevertheless Lian was send to the hospitial. On that day, Chun-Li declared that she would only use her powers for good, as evil didn't satisfy her, while some were horrified that she had special powers, others were pleased she had managed to teach that bullying girl Lian a lesson.

Even at a early age Chun-Li was seen as a heroine. And Lian, the bully would always suffer the consequences.

"Gimme your lunch money!" Lian shouted at a young girl.

"No…no." said the girl in a weak voice. Chun-Li then came over and gave Lian a lightening kick.

"You think she'd learn from the times I've sent her to the hospitial." Chun-Li smiled.

Chun-Li was even nearly kicked out of high school, due to her violent behaviour, while it was always self-defense from bullies. The teachers didn't like it. But when Chun-Li was suspended, the whole school revolted going on strikes demanding her back. As Chun-Li was always seen as kind and helpful to the others.

The children refused to attend classes or leave the playground, until Chun-Li was back. When no choice, Chun-li was welcomed back.

Back to the present

"Wow….." replied Laura "That's a hell of a story. You discovered your powers at an early age. You say?"

"Yeh…." Smiled Chun-Li "I'm only thankful the same thing didn't happen to M Bison."

"Yep" smiled Laura. "It's like giving a six year old a loaded gun."


	3. And now for something random!

Chapter 3

And now for something completely random!

Guile stood facing a battle with M Bison. Gulie had done pretty well to beat him. Guile was about to finish him off.

"Sonic Boom!" he shouted shooting his projectile at M Bison.

"OOOFFFFFFF!" shouted Bison falling to the floor.

"You win!" shouted an announcer voice.

"That's what you get for my friend, Charlie, asshole!" Guile shouted.

Bison spoke his last words "(Cough) Before I die Guile. Just wanna say good match. And I want you to see my true face."

Guile raised an eyebrow. "Your true face?"

"Yes….haven't you ever wondered what the M in my name stands for, and why I keep it a secret?"

Guile froze. "Come to think of it…..Yeh!"

"Come over here. Pull off my mask."

"Mask?" Guile said puzzled.

Guile walked over and bent over Bison.

"Pull gently on my nose." Bison spoke.

Guile pulled off Bison's mask and couldn't believe what he saw.

"It's-a-me Mario!" said a cheerful voice. It was Mario's face!

Guile's eyes widened. "What the fuck!?"

"Bet you-a-didn't see that coming eh?" Mario smiled.

"But this doesn't make any sense. What is this I don't even…Why are you?"

Then Guile woke up in bed. It was all a dream!

"Ugh!" Guile screamed "What a nightmare!" He then turned to his 3DS "From now on, no more video games before bed!"

**And now back to Chun-Li and Laura!**

After finishing their meal, Laura and Chun-Li went to the park.

"Whew, it's hot." Cried Laura.

"Hey, if you're hot, I can provide you with a fan." Replied Chun-Li

"Really how so?" asked Laura

"Just wait here, for a second." Smiled Chun-Li

Chun li then walked a short distance in front of Laura, turned around and performed her lightening kick. She was a good distance away to not do any damage on Laura. And her legs provided a nice fan for Laura.

"Hey thanks!" Laura grinned.


	4. Lives of the villains

**Chapter 4**

**Now let's see how the villains cope with their everyday lives!**

**Meanwhile in a small home, elsewhere in the United States, lives criminal mastermind M Bison and his roommate Sagat. Bison operated his criminal organisation in other countries performing many dastardly deeds. **

M Bison woke up to the sound of his doorbell one morning. He got up and answered the door.

"Yes?" he answered. It was the mailman.

"Parcel for you. Please sign your name here."

"Certainly."

After signing his name, Bison went into the kitchen to see that his roommate, Sagat had made coffee.

"Morning" Sagat smiled.

"My poster finally arrived!" Bison smiled back.

"Poster? What of?"

"Oh someone I've always admired. A wonderful man. Who I've always looked up too, even though he did screw up towards the end of his life."

Bison revealed his poster. It was a picture of Adolf Hitler. Sagat couldn't believe it.

"I think I've just figured out why you don't get invited to parties." Sagat spoke.

Bison put his hand out. "Sieg heil! Sieg heil!" he went.

"You're a sick bastard, you know that?" Sagat said to Bison.

"I try my best." Smiled Bison.

The phone suddenly rang. Bison answered it

"Hello? Oh hi, mom!"

"Why don't you ever call me?" went Bison's mother

"I'm sorry, dear. I've been so busy with my crime syndicate, plus my plans to rule the world. Didn't you get my mother's day gift?"

"Rule the world? Crime I can take, but ruling the world? You've already been beaten senseless multiple times. Why don't you grow up and get a life? Get a girlfriend even?"

"I'll accomplish taking over the world, just you wait, Mother."

"And on that day, son, Satan will give up his evil ways and become a nice guy." She hung up.

"Sigh…..that mother of mine." Bison put the phone back where it was. He then turned to Sagat. "Where's this month's rent?"

"Here you go." Sagat responded taking some money out of his wallet."

"You're twenty dollars short." Bison frowned. "Still better than nothing, I suppose."

"Oh don't worry…I'll have some money in at the end of today." Sagat smiled. "I'm off…to the shops." He grinned.

"Doesn't shopping make you spend money? Not earn it?" asked Bison.

"Not the way I do it." Said Sagat exiting Bison's house.

"Weirdo." Thought Bison.

Sagat walked into a convenience store, the owner was a male in his mid 30's named Alfred.

Sagat walked up to the counter. Alfred looked up from his magazine. He noticed the scar on his chest.

"Yeezzzz….." he went "Wear a shirt, it's not that expensive. Store down the street sells them for only a few dollars."

"Shut up." Replied Sagat

"And what's with the eyepatch, are you recovering from pinkeye?"

"I don't think, you know who you're dealing with." Snarled Sagat. "I'd watch your mouth otherwise you may have to sit down next time you wanna take a piss. I am Sagat, a professional Street Fighter!"

"A street fighter eh? Well you don't look like a male ballerina that's for sure. Young folk can't get a decent job nowadays."

"I can get any job, I want" Sagat snarled. "I chose out of my own free will to become a henchman for a criminal organisation."

"How are you with databases?" asked Alfred. "I know a good job my cousin is…."

"I'm not interested in databases. I'm interested in crime, which brings me to the reason why I am here. Give me all the cash in the till!"

"You think I'll give all my money to someone not even holding a gun? Is this your first time at armed robbery? Bring a knife at least."

Sagat couldn't decide if this guy was brave or just plain stupid.

"I don't need a gun. I have special moves."

"Special moves?" Alfred frowned. "What like?"

"Tiger uppercut, Tiger shot, Tiger knee, Tiger cannon. You'll be sorry. Haven't you seen me fight in the Street Fighter tournament?"

"I'm not interested in that wrestling garbage."

"It's not wrestling, well SOME of the fighters are wrestlers, but it's something far different."

"Regardless, never watched it."

"Look asshole, you have five seconds to give me the money in the till or else…."

Alfred pulled a gun from under the counter and shot Sagat in the face. Sagat crashed to the ground backwards dead. Street Fighters may have special powers but they're not immortal.

"Tiger uppercut, indeed." Alfred muttered. "What a weirdo." He then spoke into a speaker. "Clean up on Aisle 3!"


	5. E Honda's special key

**Personal lives of the Street Fighters**

**Chapter 5**

**Here's the first thing written for 2013! I hope everybody had a Good Christmas and a Happy new year! If you're reading this in a different date or year other than January 2013, well er….good day to you anyway!**

Aside from Ken, Ryu was good friends with some of the other Street Fighters, yes, each though Street Fighters can beat each other senseless, they can remain friends outside the tournament.

Ryu was good friends with E Honda (also known as Edmond Honda) who unlike some of the other Street Fighters who had immigrated to the United States. He had chose to stay in Japan, In Japan, as well as a sumo wrestler, he had also made his living as a Japanese restaurant owner. Since the last Street Fighter tournament. He had settled down in Japan and married a female sumo wrestler.

They also gave birth to a son named Kenzo who was actually just a normal looking boy. It was quite awkward for him, seeing as how he was from a family where both his parents were sumo wrestlers.

Although nobody would dare bully him about it. Not since that one incident…..

Kenzo (Now 8 years old) was waiting after school for his parents. Takeshi the school bully was waiting with him. (Now as this is taking place in Japan, imagine that everything said here is in Japanese.)

"You better have my homework done for tomorrow, Kenzo, or I'll beat you senseless!" Takeshi threatened.

"Yes Takeshi" said Kenzo scared.

Unlike his parents Kenzo was a wimp, who always believed that conflict was never the solution.

Takeshi's father Suguru showed up. "How was school today?"

"Great….." Takeshi smiled "I put Yuki's head down the toilet made Anzu eat her crayons and forced this skinny loser to do my homework!"

"That's my boy!" Suguru smiled. He then threw his beer can at Kenzo.

"Ow!" Kenzo souted

"Hey! Leave my son alone!" Shouted E Honda.

"Dude your father's a sumo wrestler?" Takeshi said surprised.

"And his mother too." E Honda's wife Asuka appeared. She was dressed similarly to E-Honda except she wore a huge bra. She had long brown hair

"Hey, fatty." Shouted Suguru to E-Honda. "Lay off the buffets."

"Why you!" snarled E Honda

"Hey, your mom has the biggest breasts I've ever seen." Smiled Takeshi "Not that that's a good thing on a body like that!"

"Why you!" snarled Asuka

E Honda then did a sumo head butt towards Suguru knocking him to the floor he then sat on him refusing to let him get up. Asuka then tackled Takeshi and sat on him too.

"Hmmmm…" smiled Asuka "I think I got a special move of my own."

"What's that, dear?" E-Honda smiled back.

"PPPPPPPPAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRPPP PPPPPPPPPPP!"

Asuka then let out a great big fart right on top of Takeshi. The smell was horrible.

Asuka put a finger right to her mouth. "Oh dear, went a little too far. I just soiled myself."

E Honda smiled. "Hey! I think I've got one too."

"No stop!" screamed Suguru "I'll do anything."

"Don't bully my son, again." Snarled E Honda.

"That goes for you too." Snarled Asuka to Takeshi.

"Of course!" Takeshi was nearly unconscious due to the smell and the shock from having a sumo with a huge soiled nappy sit on him.

Kenzo threw Takeshi's homework book down at him. "Do your own work" he smiled devilishly at Takeshi.

Kenzo walked way smiling with his family thinking he could one day do a sitcom called "My parents are sumo wrestlers!"

No matter how hard Takeshi washed, he never felt clean, he also couldn't get the smell out of his clothes.

Going back to the communication with Ryu and E Honda, they had kept in touch with each other mainly by e-mails, chatting to each other online by webcams and by Facebook. (Yes in today's modern world, Street Fighters can have facebook pages)

Once in a while they even send photos and letters by normal mail to see how they were getting on. One day E Honda had made arrangements to come over and visit Ryu who had immigrated to America. Ryu had decided to have his house cleaned up for his visit. He also decided he'd see how his flower garden was going on. Everything was perfect for E Honda's visit except for just one thing.

Ryu had locked himself out. Ryu's door was unlocked on the inside, but you had to have a key to get in from the outside, which Ryu forgot to lift up.

"Goddamnit!" Ryu snarled. "How am I going to get in?"

"Maybe I can be of assistance?" Honda had arrived.

"Edmond Honda! Great to see you. Listen I'd love to help take your bags in….if I could get into my house."

"Ahh….so you got locked out eh? I think I can help you out. A similar incident once happened to me when I was locked out of my restaurant in Japan. I have what you call a very special key."

"A special key? Maybe you can use It on my door." Replied Ryu.

"No problem. Stand back, Ryu."

Ryu stood back from his door. What was Honda going to do?

"Dosukoi!" Honda shouted and performed a sumo headbutt on the door. The door was knocked down granting Ryu access to his house.

"Great…." Frowned Ryu "Now can you fetch me my tool kit so I can repair my door?"

But Honda didn't hear, headbutting a door was much different then headbutting a person. Honda was walking along all dizzy.

Ryu sighed "Are you alright Edmond?"

Honda replied in a girly voice "Duhhhh….did anyone get the number of that pickup truck?" And crashed to the floor.

Ryu rolled his eyes and smiled "Ahhhh…..Edmond, what am I going to do with you?"


	6. A tiny little extra

**A tiny little extra.**

Chun Li and Guile stood battling each other. Guile had done pretty well to meet Chun-Li.

"Sonic Boom!" Guile shouted shooting his projectile at Chun-Li.

"Ooooffff!" Chun-Li shouted falling to the floor.

"You win!" said an announcer voice.

"Thanks for helping me prepare towards my fight with Bison." Said Guile.

"No problem." Groaned Chun-Li.

"Well my training is done for today Chun-Li. Go home and be a family man!"

Chun-Li lifted her head "Guile…this is like the time you asked Cammy if she was man enough to fight with you. Do you know what a vagina is?"

Guile thought it over. "They're…..in men…..right?"

Chun-Li just put her head down groaning further.


End file.
